Our culture portrays birth as this awfully painful event to get through just to get your baby out in to the world. It’s just something to endure or to numb. Well, I believe that childbirth is transformative if you trust in birth. I had two amazingly transformative births, each time opening me up to so many new possibilities. They have brought me closer to the person I truly want to be, which has been masked in my past from being a child of an alcoholic mother. Birth has been my biggest opportunity to heal my childhood wounds. I could not be where I am today without giving birth. Childbirth has opened me up and expanded me in ways that I could not have imagined. I believe that this can be an experience for anybody no matter what type of birth you have if you participate in your care by making decisions for you and your family. If you are putting you and your baby first and not allowing anyone else to make decisions for you, which I know can be very intimidating, you will have an empowering birth experience. It really is as simple as that.
Deep down if you are willing to listen to yourself, you know what you need to do. I encourage you to listen to your own voice, trust in your own voice and believe in yourself. No one else’s belief in you matters more than your belief in yourself. You are the mother of this baby. Your child trusts you. Your child trusts you enough to be born into this world. Your child knows that you will be their guide. So, work with them and make the decisions with your baby. Not only will this encourage postpartum bonding, but it will translate into a much more empowered motherhood journey. You and your child will have this unshakable bond because they can feel when you are trusting, and they can feel when you are doing the best thing for the both of you. They know. I have no doubt about that. It is when you lose that trust in yourself that your baby feels that they must take care of you. If you are also a child of an alcoholic mother like I am, you understand that you thought that you had to take care of your parent(s). And you lost yourself in the process.
I encourage you to view birth in a new way; that it can be healing. Childbirth is not just an event to endure, but that it can be your biggest growth opportunity in your life and that it can produce a much greater joy in motherhood. This has been my experience. Birth has taught me so many lessons because I was willing to listen. If you are willing to listen, you have no idea what your possibilities may be.
I am so excited for you to give birth because you deserve to have this transformation, this opening, this peek inside your soul of what you are truly here on this earth to do and giving you the confidence to parent within your value system. Whether you have an unmedicated birth or a medicated or an assisted birth does not matter, as long as you trusted and believed in yourself and your baby throughout the journey. I cannot repeat this message enough. Many women, including famous childbirth educators and doulas, had traumatic births. They were able to see the lesson they were called to learn. They took the lesson that they were supposed to learn and despite the outcome, it was equally as transformative as a peaceful birth. This is not about a good versus bad experience, an empowering versus traumatic experience. The message is about be willing to listen and being able to thoughtfully choose how you move forward. You are powerful and strong and if you believe in every cell in your body that this is true; no matter what happens in your birth, you know that you can trust the process, that you can trust your baby, that you could trust your voice and that you are meant to grow from this experience.
Again, I am so excited for you. I encourage you to dive into birth with a listening ear and heart. Trust in birth and just maybe you will learn about what you are here on this earth to do.