I get you and I see you. I see you, to the mama who does not want to rest postpartum and hate the fact that you’re supposed to lay in bed, not go downstairs, not cook, not clean, not go anywhere for weeks. I see you. It is so hard to give yourself the permission to rest and to lay in bed.
When I started out as a doula, my message was that you do not have to lose you after becoming a mom. However, my message has changed to grow with motherhood, knowing that the person you were even during pregnancy cannot compare to the person you have become in the span of the hours of birthing your child. You became a much higher version of yourself by rebirthing who you are.
The pre-birth version of you that doesn’t want to rest postpartum may be questioning your value. Many of us have been taught that our value is based on how much is accomplished in a day. What constitutes self-worth should be questioned during motherhood. You are going to be challenged with what you see as being a productive and worthwhile day. The postpartum time is made for resting as a new practice, a new practice of recovering, a new practice of being and with this new practice, you will you have a new belief about what life is all about. Your worth is not tied up in your accomplishments, your employment status, your ability to be a homemaker, housewife, entrepreneur, mother, friend and all of these titles that you hold. You are inherently worthy to honor this sacred time to rest postpartum from an event so momentous. There are immense opportunities when you are open to learning the lessons from your birth and allow connection to your baby to be prioritized during these precious moments that you cannot get back. Your bonding starts here.
What if how you spend these first few weeks connecting with your baby can be so influential in your relationship through their adulthood years? Wouldn’t you give yourself the permission to rest and connect? Wouldn’t you set yourself up for an easier motherhood journey? I know I would and that is what I did my second time around. It truly is about honoring your worthiness to find a way to rest no matter what or how you have to get it. Ask family or friends or hire somebody. This time is worth any discomfort you must go through, whether it’s even putting yourself into a little bit of debt. I did and I can say wholeheartedly that it was worth it.
I encourage you to explore why you have resistance to rest. What are your reasons? I want you to put them on paper so that you can see what your true motivation is and if your motivation is from a place of scarcity of time, of money, or a fear of not bouncing right back to what you were doing before. All you can ask of yourself is to be aware of why you are making such decisions. Resting brings up a lot of old stuff for most of us as resting is seen as weak. We’ve been taught this over and over again in our society and I’m asking you to challenge that. There is a new paradigm shift going on where we actually value what makes us better human beings and what our future as a humanity requires of us. Your child needs you to take this time.
Thank you for reading this. I know this may be hard to hear and it will be hard to work through, but I promise you that you will not regret it. Part of your postpartum plan is to understand where you are questioning your value.
Mama there is no one in this world that can replace you.