Self-Talk and Shame

This week I struggled with A LOT of negative self-talk. Whether it is the two full months we have been sequestered in the house, being triggered by Mother’s Day and my birthday without my mom, or my husband returning to work full-time since quarantine began, the negative self-talk engulfed me and caused me not to show up fully for myself, my family or my friends.

My glass half-empty attitude this week looked something like this:

“I can’t do anything right”

“I can’t accomplish anything”

“I don’t have time”

“I shouldn’t have eaten that”

“I didn’t work out today”

“I didn’t use my time wisely”

“Why couldn’t he just nap longer”

“I was short with the kids”

“I want to be f****** left alone” (Yep, I said it right in front of the kids!)

Damn. My initial thought is to say “What the hell is wrong with me?” but typing it out makes me realize how I have bullied myself this week. I set unrealistic expectations and by not meeting them, I went down the rabbit hole so I couldn’t show up in any aspect of my life.

I would never let a friend say these things about herself because they are DOWNRIGHT LIES! It is so easy to criticize ourselves and reinforce the toxic beliefs. The

I should be saying:

  • “I accomplished a lot today”
  • “I kept everyone healthy”
  • “I loved on my children and saw them for who they are”
  • “We reached our outdoor time goal for the day”
  • “I went on a couple of walks wearing a 15 lb baby and pulled my daughter uphill on her bike”
  • “I reached out to a friend today”
  • “I was thoughtful in preparing my husband for his work day and let him rest when he got home”

Now that feels good… Anyone with me? Shame does us no good!

About Kelsey Budge

Hello, I'm Kelsey Budge, The Movement Doula. I support families that want to change their childbearing journey their second time around, with an emphasis on movement, mindset and recovery. I believe you can fully enjoy this journey when you can focus on what matters most.

Leave a Comment